Monday, January 5, 2009

31 Flavors of New Year's Resolutions

I hate resolutions. They just seem so binding and inflexible. They were invented to give me one more thing to feel bad about when December rolls around. Still, I'm a sucker for the New Year./New Start idea, but really can't limit myself to just one traditional idea (dropping pounds, starting smoking so I can quit again, etc.).

So, in this spirit of self improvement, I put together this list of things I hope I get around to in the next year.

1) Buy an Indiana Jones hat and wear it to work, like the guy that Kate pointed out to me today. (Good eye, Miss Kate.)
2) Drink more, pee less.
3) Finish a painting.
4) Finish a short story collection.
5) Escape the cubicle. (Not just walking out, but actually tunneling out while search lights roam and dogs bark frantically in their bloodlust.)
6) See Heiruspecs live (and see more live music in general).
7) Keep in better touch with people and not view my past as disposable.
8) Keep my mouth shut.
9) Revisit polyester.
10) Avoid using the words "proactive", "systematic", and "counter-intuitive" in any situation or any setting.
11) Read more.
12) Buy a thinner wallet so it doesn't look like I have two New Testaments stuffed into my back pocket.
13) Eat more candy.
14) Find a situation to use the word "blissful" and actually mean it.
15) Invite the next minister who's going door to door visiting with people into my house and force them to listen to my new turntable. The minister can chose the disc, of course.
16) Eat with a spork, but not at KFC.
17) Support more local businesses.
18) Remember to take my reusable cloth bags into the grocery store instead of using their plastic.
19) Start my website with my "exciting" new business idea. (Actually, less of a business and more something that just makes me laugh.)
20) Avoid writing boring blog entries like the one right before this one. Sometimes less is more.
21) Buy a bunch of 80's East Coast hardcore vinyl.
22) Try not to get so angry at my family's politics.
23) Try not to be critical of other people's shitty taste in music. (I'll work on it.)
24) Steal.
25) Say "Snitches get stitches" without letting a lisp or mispronunciation rob the phrase of its menace.
26) Single-handedly bring back the kazoo.
27) Don't wrap up one of my staff meetings by saying "Well, it's been a meeting", and if I do, I must recognize that my soul died just a little.
28) Double my bike mileage from last year (1200 miles baby...I can do this.)
29) Complete a 5k run. (Organized or otherwise...I just wanna run one.)
30) Get to MN to see some folks.
31) Be healthier in mind, body, and spirit.

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