Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Mmmmm...More NASA Powder Please!

When fat people lose weight they become like children, measuring in fractions. Where a little girl might refer to herself as seven-and-a-half, a fat woman will tell you that she has lost 34.8 pounds. Everything is measured: Water ¾ cups. 1 packet nutritionally enhanced choco-flavored NASA powder. 100% daily balance. 30 minutes bike riding while watching Family Guy. Three sets of fifteen.

Like anytime you are getting involved in a new way of life, a vocabulary is learned. Most of the terms and words associated with weight loss are well known by all, but only fat people and the ones who work with them seem to use them on a regular basis.

I imagine it being the same for any group of people that come together while sharing an experience. Writers, homosexuals, kite enthusiasts, Scientologists, pedophiles and joggers all have invented languages and customs. Those who are new learn quickly or are left feeling out of the loop, grasping for common ground while trying to absorb what they can.

These are the things I’m thinking as I sit in a room full of people each week, all of us battling our weight. We sit in a waiting room that is ironically small with a matching ironically small television that struggles to capture a local channel with its brittle bunny ears. I try to watch the television that usually is tuned to the Columbus news while stealing glances at the people who share the room with me.

We share the indignity of the waiting room, taking turns talking to the dietician and the doctor, then getting our approval to continue with the program for another week.

“How are your bowel movements?”

“Having any muscle cramps?”

“Any changes in your medication?”

“Keep up the good work.”

One more week of transformation. In my mind I’ve ripped of Thomas Harris and started calling it “The Becoming”.

I am…becoming.

No comments: